Living in the “I Am” — Richard’s Journey from Childhood Trauma to Peace of Mind

Content warning: This episode includes discussion of childhood sexual abuse. Please take care while listening.

When a childhood that should have been safe is stolen, the wound doesn’t vanish—it shapes every decision that follows.

In this episode of Change Happened, Then What?, Heather Holt sits down with Richard, a trauma recovery coach who shares the story of being robbed of his right to freeze at age twelve, the secret shame that followed, and the early loss of his mother to cancer. What began as survival turned into years of alcoholism, gambling addiction, depression, and living emotionally stuck inside a boy who never had the chance to grow up.

Richard takes us through his slow, startling awakening—the moment he stopped medicating feelings and began listening to what his body had been holding all along. He explains the practice of separating “Richy,” the twelve-year-old shaped by trauma, from “Richard,” the adult who survived, and how breathwork, visualization, and presence helped him shift from living in “I was” to living in “I am.”

As the conversation unfolds, Richard shares how this healing became the foundation of the work he now offers others—helping people release younger versions of themselves that are still trapped in survival. He also reflects on finding faith beyond himself, discovering community, and building a daily practice that keeps the past from running his life.

This is a candid, visceral story about resilience, accountability, peace of mind, and the possibility of being whole again.

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